26A - Celebrating Failure

I’m an industrial and systems engineering major. For my major, one of my critical tracking classes is a computer programming class. I was in this class last semester, and no matter how many programs I did, no matter how hard I studied, my brain just could not comprehend the coding language. I didn’t think I was going to be able to pass, so I dropped the class, and retook is this semester. I spoke to the professor beforehand and he said students usually pass with flying colors the next time they take the class. So, I went into it with an open mind and really thought I was going to be able to pass. Well, I haven’t been doing that great again and now I might have to switch my major because of one class. I’m not a bad student; I put my all into everything, I spend countless sleepless nights in Library West doing the sample programs, but for whatever reason I just cannot learn how to code. All of my different study techniques have failed. I’ve tried recoding all the past programs. I’ve tried just reading through the codes to understand the logic. Nothing seems to work for me. I don’t really handle failure very well. I’ll be honest, I’ve cried for hours and hours before and after exams because of my frustration. I have a chance at passing the class this time, but I don’t know if I really can. Honestly, what I’ve learned is that there are multiple paths to success. If this doesn’t work out, maybe there’s something better out there for me. This one class does not change the way I perceive myself—I have a perfect transcript otherwise and I know I’m not dumb, I just can’t code. And that’s OK. This class really had no effect on my perspective of failure. I am going to take a risk and take the final and see if I pass rather than withdraw from the class again, but that is because I need to take a chance, not necessarily due to this class.